Tuesday, March 5, 2013
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
Confessions of an Extrovert
We live in an extroverted society. It's kind of hard to deny that. From the youngest ages, kids are encouraged to be social. Whether it's at school, church, or summer camp, kids are looked down upon if they don't fit into the social mold. Lately it seems to me that a lot of energy has been entirely focused on letting introverts and others know that being that way is ok, especially on social media. And I love that! I love that we are allowing these people to feel like they are ok just the way they are!
Here is one of my favorite TED videos that describes this well:
Several of my closest friends are introverts. I love being around introverts. I love learning from introverts. I love engaging in conversation with introverts. My roommate is an introvert, and so are most of the guys I have been interested in.
But alas, I am not.
I am very much an extrovert.
I used to think I was an introvert in high school. Then I got to college. I started realizing that I can't be by myself for huge amounts of time. I can get depressed if that happens. I discovered that I love meeting new people and getting to know them. That interacting with my friends is often what I need to brighten my day or mood.
I love being social. I love being an extrovert. But go with me for a second.... it does come with its challenges. It's not easy. There are many times a week, maybe even in a day, when I find myself wishing that I were more introverted.
Why is this a problem you ask? Welllll, let me tell you:
It begins with an "S" and ends with a "you're-gonna-fail-school-if-you-don't-do-this". Yep folks, it's studying. First of all, I think I have a tad of ADD, and that has been an ongoing debate between my mom and I for years (although she recently told me that she actually thinks I have had it since elementary school...). However, I think it is more than that.
Here is my dilemma:
I like to study in quiet. It helps me to focus better. I also like to study with people around who are also studying. That feeds my extrovert-ness and helps me to focus. So a lot of times I study in the lobby of our library. I like to study here because I get to overlook Baylor, study, listen to jazz, folk, or classical music, drink my chai tea, and see people I know.
The problem comes when I know people... which inevitably occurs.
One saturday afternoon I went to the library, sat in my usual spot, and discovered one of my close friends sitting nearby. I went over to talk to him for a couple of minutes, and then hurried back to begin the studying process. Over the course of a few hours, my friend observed as my old roommate and her boyfriend came and talked to be for over half an hour. Then these girls came up and I started making small talk with them.... but I couldn't remember their names. He observed me seeing friends I hadn't seen in years, and my accidental spilling of tea on my computer. Yes, I got work done... but it took much longer than it should have. And Carlos was laughing at me quite a bit by the end.
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Maybe this is the whole "the grass is greener on the other side" phenomenon.... but maybe it's not. I think that I can be happy in where I am on this spectrum and still long to grow in either way. After all, developing ourselves to be productive demonstrates how we work as humans, doesn't it? If we are completely stagnant in how we approach life and all the aspects of it, we miss something. Seems to fit into Darwin's theory of the survival of the fittest.
Here is my dilemma:
I like to study in quiet. It helps me to focus better. I also like to study with people around who are also studying. That feeds my extrovert-ness and helps me to focus. So a lot of times I study in the lobby of our library. I like to study here because I get to overlook Baylor, study, listen to jazz, folk, or classical music, drink my chai tea, and see people I know.
The problem comes when I know people... which inevitably occurs.
One saturday afternoon I went to the library, sat in my usual spot, and discovered one of my close friends sitting nearby. I went over to talk to him for a couple of minutes, and then hurried back to begin the studying process. Over the course of a few hours, my friend observed as my old roommate and her boyfriend came and talked to be for over half an hour. Then these girls came up and I started making small talk with them.... but I couldn't remember their names. He observed me seeing friends I hadn't seen in years, and my accidental spilling of tea on my computer. Yes, I got work done... but it took much longer than it should have. And Carlos was laughing at me quite a bit by the end.
.jpeg)
There are so many times a week when I wish that I had the will power to sit down with a pile of books by C.S. Lewis, Bonhoeffer, Claiborne, and a variety of other authors and theologians. I wish that I could just devour them without even thinking about moving. I wish that I didn't feel the need for human interacting every like 30 minutes. I wish that I didn't start thinking about something random and go off into my own little land (that may be the ADD...). But really, there are so many times when I wish I was a tad more introverted.
So here's to the introverts!
Here's to the ones who inspire me to read, to learn, and to focus. Who teach me that it is okay to be alone sometimes.
But let's be honest... I wish you were here.
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
Friday, February 1, 2013
Make it Happy to Last the Whole Night Long
For my past four years at Baylor, I have been involved with this thing called All University Sing. My first year I was a member of Sing Alliance, a non-Greek organization that is amazing and allows for the whole university to participate. Since then I have performed with Alpha Delta Pi, serving as a Sing chair last year.
Sing is important to me, has been, and will continue to be. It has provided a creative outlet for me in which to pour those skills that I would have missed from high school. It has allowed for me to grow more confidence in myself, both as a leader and as a person. It has allowed for me to meet a lot of awesome people and to have a lot of amazing opportunities. I've made some of my best friends through our bond for Sing.
However, Sing is not the most important thing in the world. I think that Baylor students seem to think that the world goes on a break for January and February and that the whole world revolves around Sing. But it doesn't. Classes are still going on. Other campus organizations are still going. People are living and dying. Other things are going on. Life is happening.
The past three years my mind has gotten absolutely tangled with Sing. It was literally all I could think about-- past acts, possible future acts, ways to improve our act, Sing drama, etc. I would come out of Sing completely exhausted. I would tell people I didn't want to talk about Sing, but then two minutes later I would find myself have an elaborate conversation on the same topic.
Another thing I have realized is that I'm generally less happy during the Spring semesters. I'm not completely sure why this is, but I do think that it has to do somewhat with Sing. Sing cuts into everything. It cuts into my free time, my sleep time, my homework time, my friend time, my Jesus time. I always feel the furthest from God after Sing because instead of him or things constructive to him, I am making Sing my idol.
But Sing is not the most important thing in the world. Who wins Sing is not the most important thing in the world. Making Pigskin is not the most important thing in the world.
If being a participant in Sing has taught me one thing, it is that the important things are the positive memories that you make. The friendships you develop. The fun you have with your brothers, sisters, and/or friends. The entertainment you provide for hundreds.
But remember why you're at Baylor in the first place. Is it so that you can perform on the stage during Homecoming? Is it so that you can make entertainment? No, the reason that you are at Baylor is for your education. The learning is the most important thing.
I wish someone had told me that as a freshman.... I probably wouldn't have listened.
Sing is important to me, has been, and will continue to be. It has provided a creative outlet for me in which to pour those skills that I would have missed from high school. It has allowed for me to grow more confidence in myself, both as a leader and as a person. It has allowed for me to meet a lot of awesome people and to have a lot of amazing opportunities. I've made some of my best friends through our bond for Sing.
However, Sing is not the most important thing in the world. I think that Baylor students seem to think that the world goes on a break for January and February and that the whole world revolves around Sing. But it doesn't. Classes are still going on. Other campus organizations are still going. People are living and dying. Other things are going on. Life is happening.
The past three years my mind has gotten absolutely tangled with Sing. It was literally all I could think about-- past acts, possible future acts, ways to improve our act, Sing drama, etc. I would come out of Sing completely exhausted. I would tell people I didn't want to talk about Sing, but then two minutes later I would find myself have an elaborate conversation on the same topic.
Another thing I have realized is that I'm generally less happy during the Spring semesters. I'm not completely sure why this is, but I do think that it has to do somewhat with Sing. Sing cuts into everything. It cuts into my free time, my sleep time, my homework time, my friend time, my Jesus time. I always feel the furthest from God after Sing because instead of him or things constructive to him, I am making Sing my idol.
But Sing is not the most important thing in the world. Who wins Sing is not the most important thing in the world. Making Pigskin is not the most important thing in the world.
If being a participant in Sing has taught me one thing, it is that the important things are the positive memories that you make. The friendships you develop. The fun you have with your brothers, sisters, and/or friends. The entertainment you provide for hundreds.
But remember why you're at Baylor in the first place. Is it so that you can perform on the stage during Homecoming? Is it so that you can make entertainment? No, the reason that you are at Baylor is for your education. The learning is the most important thing.
I wish someone had told me that as a freshman.... I probably wouldn't have listened.
Saturday, January 26, 2013
Backwards and Inside Out
One of the primary questions that I have been struggling with the couple of years has been, what does it mean to be a Christian when the popular thing to do is be Christian?
Let me explain. Christianity is based off of the teachings, life, and resurrection of Jesus. This man named Jesus lived roughly 2000 years ago, and was a social outcast to the government and the way of life at the time. He broke many social, political, and religious codes, and was eventually crucified for it. He claimed to be the Son of God and the Messiah. Many people decided to follow him throughout the years, and from that spouts Christianity.
Christianity was founded in the Middle Eastern region (therefore making Jesus a Middle Eastern Jew). It was seen in a negative light because it broke with the religious tradition of the region, whether that was to pledge allegiance to the government or to Judaism. Christianity was viewed as a form of atheism because these new followers were renouncing the other gods. Many early Christians were killed because of this and became martyrs. Others had different reactions such as monasticism, or a fleeing away from the world.
Eventually, Christianity was okayed by the government thanks to Constantine. From there we have this complicated entangling of church and state that can be seen by the Catholic church, the Holy Roman Empire, the Protestant Reformation, and the Church of England to name a few instances. What is of primary importance in this case is to notice that the heart of Christianity lied in Western Europe, which was the center of the world at this time. Eventually it moved to the Americas and a few other countries with the spread of imperialism.
Now there are many sects, or denominations of Christianity. The primary ones today can be most vaguely classified as Orthodox, Catholic, and Protestant. Christianity is the world's most popular religion. It is growing widely, and is especially predominant in countries that are developing or not as well off as America and Western Europe.
What got me to thinking about this today was reading for my Sociology of Religion class. In this class we are looking at religions around the world, how they change over time, and the development of them. I am just a few class periods in and I am fascinated!
The question I posed above is rooted in the fact that in many places in Western Europe and the United States, Christianity is thought to be the primary religion of the land. However, when Christianity was founded, as shown above, it was not the cool thing to be a Christian. This religion was founded upon being the outcast of the society. It was founded on being set apart and not like the world. The idea of a "Christian nation" is in many ways a juxtaposition to the Gospel itself.
What struck me about my reading (Stephen Prothero's God is Not One, 2010) was the statistical numbers that were presented (I won't get into the nitty gritty of those in here, but they are in that book if you are curious). What is striking is that while Christianity is growing in third world countries, which according to Prothero is due mainly to the Pentecostal church, it is diminishing in Western countries. Many more people in Western countries are denying any faith in God whatsoever, and are affiliating themselves with atheism or agnosticism. These are some of the same countries that have identified themselves by their Christian roots.
This information is common sense to many people. What strikes me about it is the way that the Christianity in these so-called "Christian nations" works. For hundreds of years there has been this we-are-better-than-them mentality that white people in Western parts of the world have had. We can see this throughout history in the colonization and discovery of the America's, the European imperialism in Africa, and the containment policies of the Truman Doctrine. Throughout history, a focus has been made on trying to get others to be like us.
I would argue that this mentality is very much still alive in America, and even so in the American church. With the modern way of missions, this is evident. People in Western, "Christian" countries are generally disconnected from missions. Not that they don't see the need, or advantage of them, but they are often less directly affiliated. More often than not, and I am guilty of this, we just give people our money and expect someone else to do something with it to benefit the hurting and the oppressed. Now don't get me wrong, this is good and money is needed, and in fact, Jesus calls us to give of all our possessions to follow him, BUT missions is more than just donating money. It is working hands on with people, and showing them the love of Christ directly through our lives.
The longing to make people like us continues when we give people money to buy things and to make their churches spring out more like ours. Really, one of the most constructive forms of missions is helping people learn how to do these things on their own with the resources that they already have available to them,
So much focus goes into American Christianity helping people in countries in Africa and Latin America and such. But what is fascinating to me is that we are trying to "fix" these places to have more of an American ideology of the world. Really, Christianity is sprouting there and declining here. Maybe we are looking at this backwards. Maybe we need to look at what they are doing, and see how that can impact us.
Just some thoughts.
Let me explain. Christianity is based off of the teachings, life, and resurrection of Jesus. This man named Jesus lived roughly 2000 years ago, and was a social outcast to the government and the way of life at the time. He broke many social, political, and religious codes, and was eventually crucified for it. He claimed to be the Son of God and the Messiah. Many people decided to follow him throughout the years, and from that spouts Christianity.
Christianity was founded in the Middle Eastern region (therefore making Jesus a Middle Eastern Jew). It was seen in a negative light because it broke with the religious tradition of the region, whether that was to pledge allegiance to the government or to Judaism. Christianity was viewed as a form of atheism because these new followers were renouncing the other gods. Many early Christians were killed because of this and became martyrs. Others had different reactions such as monasticism, or a fleeing away from the world.
Eventually, Christianity was okayed by the government thanks to Constantine. From there we have this complicated entangling of church and state that can be seen by the Catholic church, the Holy Roman Empire, the Protestant Reformation, and the Church of England to name a few instances. What is of primary importance in this case is to notice that the heart of Christianity lied in Western Europe, which was the center of the world at this time. Eventually it moved to the Americas and a few other countries with the spread of imperialism.
Now there are many sects, or denominations of Christianity. The primary ones today can be most vaguely classified as Orthodox, Catholic, and Protestant. Christianity is the world's most popular religion. It is growing widely, and is especially predominant in countries that are developing or not as well off as America and Western Europe.
What got me to thinking about this today was reading for my Sociology of Religion class. In this class we are looking at religions around the world, how they change over time, and the development of them. I am just a few class periods in and I am fascinated!
The question I posed above is rooted in the fact that in many places in Western Europe and the United States, Christianity is thought to be the primary religion of the land. However, when Christianity was founded, as shown above, it was not the cool thing to be a Christian. This religion was founded upon being the outcast of the society. It was founded on being set apart and not like the world. The idea of a "Christian nation" is in many ways a juxtaposition to the Gospel itself.
What struck me about my reading (Stephen Prothero's God is Not One, 2010) was the statistical numbers that were presented (I won't get into the nitty gritty of those in here, but they are in that book if you are curious). What is striking is that while Christianity is growing in third world countries, which according to Prothero is due mainly to the Pentecostal church, it is diminishing in Western countries. Many more people in Western countries are denying any faith in God whatsoever, and are affiliating themselves with atheism or agnosticism. These are some of the same countries that have identified themselves by their Christian roots.
This information is common sense to many people. What strikes me about it is the way that the Christianity in these so-called "Christian nations" works. For hundreds of years there has been this we-are-better-than-them mentality that white people in Western parts of the world have had. We can see this throughout history in the colonization and discovery of the America's, the European imperialism in Africa, and the containment policies of the Truman Doctrine. Throughout history, a focus has been made on trying to get others to be like us.
I would argue that this mentality is very much still alive in America, and even so in the American church. With the modern way of missions, this is evident. People in Western, "Christian" countries are generally disconnected from missions. Not that they don't see the need, or advantage of them, but they are often less directly affiliated. More often than not, and I am guilty of this, we just give people our money and expect someone else to do something with it to benefit the hurting and the oppressed. Now don't get me wrong, this is good and money is needed, and in fact, Jesus calls us to give of all our possessions to follow him, BUT missions is more than just donating money. It is working hands on with people, and showing them the love of Christ directly through our lives.
The longing to make people like us continues when we give people money to buy things and to make their churches spring out more like ours. Really, one of the most constructive forms of missions is helping people learn how to do these things on their own with the resources that they already have available to them,
So much focus goes into American Christianity helping people in countries in Africa and Latin America and such. But what is fascinating to me is that we are trying to "fix" these places to have more of an American ideology of the world. Really, Christianity is sprouting there and declining here. Maybe we are looking at this backwards. Maybe we need to look at what they are doing, and see how that can impact us.
Just some thoughts.
Monday, January 21, 2013
Looking in the Mirror
When I die, or even when I live, I want for people to be able to look at my life and say with certainty that I have lived in a way that truly exemplifies a love for Christ and freedom that is found only in Him.
Right now I don't think I'm doing that. Something needs to shift.
Right now I don't think I'm doing that. Something needs to shift.
"No matter what I do, I can't change the fact that I'm handicapped.
But I can change the way I react to it"
-- Dr. Alan Lefever
We had a guest preacher today in church. He was having trouble with one of his hands, and eventually he started to talk about it. He said he suffered a stroke as an infant and it left him deformed. Up until this point he was talking about how we all run a race in life, how we are all part of the body of Christ, and how as the church we need to lift each other up.
One of the most important musical influences on my life was a middle school band teacher of mine. She taught me the flute, a love for making music, and always encouraged me, even when I quit band for choir in 8th grade. Unfortunately she passed away from cancer during my freshman year of high school. One of the many things she taught me when she was my teacher was that you are only as strong as your weakest member. She spoke of this in context to band, but today when I was listening to this sermon, I couldn't help but think of this as well.
So yes, as Christians we are to help those who are hurting. One thing that Dr. Lefever said that I thought was particularly powerful was that as Christians we should not just talk about the hurting, but talk to the hurting and to help them through that. So often as Christians it's easier to do the other thing. It's hard to see the pain that someone is hiding.
It is always exhilarating for me to see people who have been able to overcome their physical limitations. I guess for everyone it is in some way. Seeing people overcome those limitations serves as a role model for how we can overcome little things that are thrown our way.
But for me, it hits close to home. See I am physically handicapped. I was born with clubbed feet, and thanks be to God I was fortunate to be born into a family that could afford the medical care so that I could have surgery on my feet when I was an infant and to be able to run and play and dance today. I still have side effects though. I can't really go on my toes at all, my feet are super flat, my calves are tiny, and my feet get worn out very easy. People think that this is a big deal... but really, most of my friends don't know unless I tell them or if they happen to glance at the scars up and down my ankles.
I think this is what has helped me in life. When you have a disability, you know nothing else. It is the way life is, and you learn that nothing you can ever do will change that. I remember telling people about my feet in elementary school, or telling my ballet teachers so they wouldn't get on my case about not being able to go into a perfect releve. I knew that I was never going to be a dancer, or really an athlete of any kind. And that was just something that I accepted. It is what I know.
A few years ago I randomly lost all my hearing in one of my ears. This was difficult, but over time I adjusted. And I really do believe that knowing how to react to difficulties from when I was young helped me to have an optimistic view of my ear problems. There are certain times when I talk about it more: such as conversation in a busy area, or dinner with a group of friends. However, my disabilities aren't who I am. Sure they are important to who I am in forming me into that person, but they do not decide who I am.
I guess I could let them decide who I am... but what's the fun in that?
If we're only the sum of our parts, then we are only the sum of the parts of our spiritual body as well. And because of that, we all need each other. We need to pull up others that are hurting. And I am fortunate in that I have overcame things just by living the life God gave me, that will hopefully help me to relate to people down the road.
So yes, as Christians we are to help those who are hurting. One thing that Dr. Lefever said that I thought was particularly powerful was that as Christians we should not just talk about the hurting, but talk to the hurting and to help them through that. So often as Christians it's easier to do the other thing. It's hard to see the pain that someone is hiding.
It is always exhilarating for me to see people who have been able to overcome their physical limitations. I guess for everyone it is in some way. Seeing people overcome those limitations serves as a role model for how we can overcome little things that are thrown our way.
But for me, it hits close to home. See I am physically handicapped. I was born with clubbed feet, and thanks be to God I was fortunate to be born into a family that could afford the medical care so that I could have surgery on my feet when I was an infant and to be able to run and play and dance today. I still have side effects though. I can't really go on my toes at all, my feet are super flat, my calves are tiny, and my feet get worn out very easy. People think that this is a big deal... but really, most of my friends don't know unless I tell them or if they happen to glance at the scars up and down my ankles.
I think this is what has helped me in life. When you have a disability, you know nothing else. It is the way life is, and you learn that nothing you can ever do will change that. I remember telling people about my feet in elementary school, or telling my ballet teachers so they wouldn't get on my case about not being able to go into a perfect releve. I knew that I was never going to be a dancer, or really an athlete of any kind. And that was just something that I accepted. It is what I know.
A few years ago I randomly lost all my hearing in one of my ears. This was difficult, but over time I adjusted. And I really do believe that knowing how to react to difficulties from when I was young helped me to have an optimistic view of my ear problems. There are certain times when I talk about it more: such as conversation in a busy area, or dinner with a group of friends. However, my disabilities aren't who I am. Sure they are important to who I am in forming me into that person, but they do not decide who I am.
I guess I could let them decide who I am... but what's the fun in that?
If we're only the sum of our parts, then we are only the sum of the parts of our spiritual body as well. And because of that, we all need each other. We need to pull up others that are hurting. And I am fortunate in that I have overcame things just by living the life God gave me, that will hopefully help me to relate to people down the road.
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