He Told Me To Love

What if maybe we're all wrong?

So what if there's a group of people that can't fathom another group of people being born a certain way?  So what if the first group may be hateful towards the second sometimes?  What if a holy book has verses against homosexual practices (although it is interesting to note that the leader himself said nothing about the subject)?  So what if there are groups of people who protest anti-whatever, because they think that their hatred is actually going to change other's minds?

What if God did create gays gay?

What if what God wants for marriage is actually just a loving relationship, where people love each other, are faithful, and caring?  What if God wants a 1950's sitcom family?  What if God wants a family with a man and wife?  What if God doesn't care as long as we love each other?

Who are we to say that people can't believe what they want?  We live in America right?  How is your hatred towards those you say are being hypocritical and hateful, any different?

So what if we're all wrong?

What if God is just up in heaven laughing at us?  Laughing at us trying to figure him out.

Because maybe we're just trying to put God in a box...and a stupid internet, world-wide debate is our generation's way of dealing with it.

For the foolishness of God is wiser than man's wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than man's strength.-- 1 Corinthians 1:25

Maybe God is even bigger than any of us could ever imagine.  Because when I try to imagine a God who created the WHOLE universe, I get stumped.  How could the same God who created all the moons of the planets, the dinosaurs, every single species that ever walked the earth... how could he have created me?  This short, curly haired, young adult, with her faults and the ways that I fail God everyday... How could this great creator have time for me when he's dealing with everything else in the world?  But somehow I know he does because I have seen him work in my life, and because of that, who am I to even fathom putting God in a box?

I don't serve a God who I can put in a box and sugarcoat.  I serve a God who breaks the box.  I serve a God who tells me that I am "fearfully and wonderfully made" (Psalm 139:14).  I serve a God who tells me that He loves me so much that He sent his own son down to die for me, and to put my sin upon his back (John 3:16).

I think it's important to take a step back sometimes.  To take a step back from everything we've been taught growing up, everything our friends and mentors believe, and everything that we long to know.  I think it's important to get back to the heart of God.  

With all this talk of Chick-fil-A this, and universal health care that, we get caught up in this awkward place between theology and politics.  This awkward place where Jesus nor George Washington wanted us to be.  The Bible talks about the unification of believers, and Washington told us not to develop political parties.... somehow that didn't work out.

“Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”  Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’^[a] This is the first and greatest commandment.³⁹ And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’^[b] All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”-- Matthew 22:36-40

As a Christian I believe that it is my responsibility to love those around me.  To love God, and then to love those around me.  It's funny, because currently in my life, I am in a place where I feel convicted for not loving enough, and here I am writing about it.

You've probably heard liberals say that loving your neighbor doesn't mean excluding the homeless, gay, lesbian, transgender, bisexual, drug dealers, blacks, middle eastern, etc.  And yes, I completely agree that this is true, but it also doesn't mean to hate on other Christians because their interpretation of the Bible is not spot on with yours.  Hatred is hatred, no matter where it comes from.  Maybe hatred isn't the best word, but you get the picture.

So what if someone doesn't hold the same specific view as you?  It does not give you the license to talk bad about people?  By human nature we are people who have a hard time grasping that there are people who are different from us in the world, and that they believe different things.  If you don't believe me, just look at history!

Being a student of religion, I often have discussions with theologians and other students.  I love these conversations because for the most part, we realize that although we all have different opinions and different views on things, we all share a common faith.  We all believe that Jesus is the Messiah, that he was crucified, dead, buried, and rose again on the third day.  But while we have these differences, we realize that we can learn from each other.  We can grow from each other.  And one of the phrases I hear most is, "I come out with more questions than when I began". 

I guess my point in all this is this:  Who are we to say that we have all the answers?  Sometimes even our Biblical analysis have holes.  Sometimes even our non-Biblical reasonings have holes as well.  As a Christian this is where faith comes in.  This is where trust comes in.  This is when it becomes the time to give God our faith and our devotion.

And the questions above... I don't know the answers to most of them.  I could probably come up with a thousand more questions easily.
But there is one thing I do know:  God told me to love my neighbor as myself.  He told me to love.

My cousin had a baby yesterday.  My cousin is only a few months younger than I am.  She is engaged and starting a family.  I am so happy for her, but what I think is funny is that while she is doing that, I am here, single, and working on my senior year of college.  

Lately (well the past day or so), I have been thinking a lot about the different paths our lives take and the ride that God takes us on.  For the first however many years of our lives, we are told exactly what track we are supposed to follow: education.  Slowly as you grow older, you have more choices available to you: classes, extracurricular, furthering your education, etc.  Then if you go to college you have those 4 years mapped out, and maybe more depending upon the career path that you choose.  

My main point is, there comes a point when you are not being told what to do anymore.  You may have basic things that people tell you: have a job, have a family, provide for said family, do whatever makes you happy.  But the beauty of that point is that you can do really whatever you want, and the path is up to your choosing. 

I think this is something that hit me really hard because of how close my cousin and I are in age, and how close I am to graduation: 10 months!  It's crazy that these first 22 years of my life are coming to a close quicker than I would have realized.  It's weird that these first 22 years are so important, but I hopefully have about triple that number of years left.

Trying to decipher what God has in store for me is a pain.  It's like trying to teach a dog to meow... not gonna happen!  This path that God is taking me on is mine and it's weird to think that none else has been down this path, but it is also very encouraging.  

This is my life.

Mom Mum Mommy!

When I was in elementary school there was this kid.  I don't remember his name or anything, I just remember that he constantly would play the "my mommy died" card.  Now I know this is something challenging to deal with, but it was 5 years after the fact, and it was something that was constantly annoying to us (let's be honest... elementary age kids don't understand).  Looking back on it I can realize that it is a cry for attention, but then I saw it as nothing other than annoying.

Kids need their moms.  And not to say that if you grow up without one you are going to be messed up, because that isn't true.  I know lots of single fathers who raised their children well.  I'm just saying that having a mom, or a female figure to look up to, is important.

I cannot imagine the world without my mom.  She has constantly been there for me over the past 21 years of my life.  She aggravates me like no other, and knows how to get on my nerves, but at the end of the day she is probably one of my best friends.  I can tell her anything, and I never have felt like she didn't want me there.  I don't know what I would do without her.

I have been so blessed by having a great mom who has always supported me and been there for me through everything: health problems (there have been a lot of those), broken hearts, friend problems, school drama, life transitions, and more.

I love you mom!

One of my favorite Family Guy moments! ^

Achromatic or Neutral

If you could ask Jesus anything, what would it be?

I saw a picture with this question on it on a website earlier, and it really got me to thinking.... what would I ask Jesus if I could ask him one question face-to-face?

With all the current hype going on in the country, my question would probably be something a long the times of, "Is homosexuality a sin?" Just right upfront with it!

Then I got to thinking how Jesus would answer this.  It would probably be something ambiguous, like a parable, or a statement like, "What do you say it is?" or "What do I say it is?" (Jesus speaks nothing about homosexuality btw).

Not particularly helpful, but that's how Jesus often answered the people He personally came in contact with, and I kind of think that's how He answers us today.  Because maybe the answer isn't always black or white... and maybe God wants it to be that way for a reason.

We live in a culture where we want things to be finite, decisive, and concrete.  We want things to be black and white.  What if, just maybe, God wants us to think about things and maybe not reach a concrete answer?  What if his answer, when it all boils down to it, is to trust him.  As Christians we believe that God is all knowing, all knowing, all loving, and all wise.  And this doesn't go with just the homosexuality question.  It also brings me to think about the future a lot.  It reminds me of that saying, "God always answers prayers, just sometimes he answers, 'no', or 'wait".

Maybe we should just give him a little bit more control, and trust him in the grey.

The stars at night are big and bright

I love Texas.  I have lived in the Lone Star State since I was 5.  Before then I lived in New Jersey and Maryland, but I don't really remember it.  I have little memories of snow... but other than that there isn't much.  I fit the cliche saying, "I wasn't born in Texas, but I got here as soon as I could!"  My brother fits it better though; he was literally 3 months old when my family moved here!

I love Texas, but a lot of typical Texas stuff it has taken me a while to adjust to, being born a Yankee and all.  I don't own cowboy boots, although I really want some.  They're just super expensive!  Last semester I went to a western semi-formal wearing boots that fit, but they didn't have quite the same effect.  This past summer I started to like country music... I used to hate it.  I've started playing guitar in the last few months.  I drive all over Texas!  I35 and I are besties!  During the month of October I was in Austin the first weekend, Dallas the second, San Antonio the third, and Waco the forth... not to mention other places I've driven over the past year.

I love Texas.  I love looking out over the hills as I'm driving and just enjoying God's creation!  I love the heat (crazy yes), the bluebonnets, the Christian culture, and the barbeque.  I would not trade growing up here at all!

However, one this that I have grown to hate is that I feel like I'm thrown into a box.  Now this doesn't have to do with Texas specifically, but Texas/Baylor/Republican land/Bible belt/going into ministry....

People assume that because of all those things, that I have specific views on things.  No, just because I am a Christian, go to Baylor, and am a religion major does not mean that I hate homosexuality.  In fact, I don't.  I have a lot of good friends that are homosexual, and am pro gay marriage because of the separation of church and state.  Then it's the church's decision to marry them or not.  I am pro-choice... I don't think the government should have a say in whether I choose to abort a child or not, although I personally cannot see myself doing that.  And honestly, much to my friends and family's disdain, I am between liberal and conservative on economic issues.

I am not a republican.  I am not your typical southern Baptist Christian.  Going to Baylor has actually just made me more liberal.

I love Texas, I really really do.  I want to get married and raise a family here.  But at this stage in my life, I want to get out.  I want to experience more of the world and not be stuck inside this Christian bubble.  Don't get me wrong, I love it... it's just time to get my wings out and fly.

Just Walk Away

"There comes a time in life, when you walk away from all the drama and the people who create it. You surround yourself with people who make you laugh, forget the bad, and focus on the good. So love the people who treat you right, pray for the ones who don't. Life is too short to be anything but happy. Falling down is a part of life, getting back up is living!"- anonymous