Lent blog #2
Excuse me while my thoughts are scattered. Doing a blog a day means that I don't have as much time to mull over issues and write and rewrite until things are fully comprehended.
This semester I've been taking an Urban Missions Issues class. I have been learning a lot about a wide variety of topics ranging from how churches interact with their communities, how they engage the communities in which they are located, how they embrace the theology of mission, and how they deal with issues such as trafficking, mental illness, and disaster to name a few. This has helped me to start thinking about a wider range of issues than what churches normally just think about. It has also helped me to start thinking about how we as Christians, as churches, and as ministries approach different people, different issues, and the things that Jesus preached in the Gospels.
I think one of the reasons why I haven't written much this semester is because I have been trying to wrap my head around my experiences in this class, in my research for my graduate assistantship about international social work as mission, as well as my experience on a mission trip to New York over this past spring break. Often when we think about mission we think of it being international and far off. This semester God has been putting it close by. He has been challenging me in many ways, many of which I don't understand. He's going to do something with this I'm certain. I just don't understand it or know what yet.
And that's something that is bothering me. Here I am at a great school, creating great relationships, networking, putting things on my resume, and following what I feel God is calling me to... but I feel like I'm not doing anything. I feel like I can talk all I want about the church having a mission focus, what that mission focus should be, how we should embrace God's creation, work with poverty, and love and serve others... but if I'm not living out what I'm saying, what good is that?
I feel like I'm sitting here waiting for the next three years to go by so I can have these two new degrees in my hand that say "Master of Divinity" and "Master of Social Work", and then I can go.
I know this is silly, because I know that God is going to use me. And I know that he is using me. I know that he has positioned me so that I can be in a place to learn and develop a skill set. This semester has been a hard one and a struggle at times, but I don't doubt that it's true. I think that sometimes when God is using me I don't even realize it. I am just doing what I feel God wants me to. I know I need to be better at listing to his call for my life.
God, grant me discernment, passion, and drive.